Modern Gurl on Friendship
Modern Gurls,
So, we all have "friends" right? There's no one cookie-cutter model for friends. Like the old Girl Scout song says "Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold."
Over the years I've learned lessons in friendship and learned ultimately at some point you can't take on new true friends because you just can't be everything to every body all the time. Therefore, from time to time we have to re-evaluate our friendships, and the definition of "true friend" changes as we grow.
I've been thinking about this over the last month actually, especially with a key milestone birthday passing. I truly cherish girl times: running to the mall, doing lunch, brunch, traveling, talking on the phone, or just going over to their house to talk trash and drink wine, tea, soda, whatever!
Women have a unique and special relationship that men can not say they have with us or each other... I mean, for goodness sake we go to the bathroom together!!
As I reflect, the thing I do know that clearly differentiates who I consider a true friend versus that "other bucket" is that my true girlfriends have never, ever crossed the line in the following...
True friends won't ever take advantage of you.
True friends won't exploit your weaknesses or emotional pits for their own gain or out of malicious intent (no matter how angry they are at you).
True friends will never date your ex-boyfriend.
True friends won't suck you dry emotionally, phsycially or monetarily.
True friendship is just the "right" amount of work, it never takes too much out of you. This means, sometimes we sacrafice for friends, but they always pay us back in love, loyalty and dedication. It's absolutely healthy to re-evaluate who is in your circle and who you need to cut back as well as who you need to appreciate more?
What are you going to do to evaluate your friendships?
What have you learned?
So, we all have "friends" right? There's no one cookie-cutter model for friends. Like the old Girl Scout song says "Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold."
Over the years I've learned lessons in friendship and learned ultimately at some point you can't take on new true friends because you just can't be everything to every body all the time. Therefore, from time to time we have to re-evaluate our friendships, and the definition of "true friend" changes as we grow.
I've been thinking about this over the last month actually, especially with a key milestone birthday passing. I truly cherish girl times: running to the mall, doing lunch, brunch, traveling, talking on the phone, or just going over to their house to talk trash and drink wine, tea, soda, whatever!
Women have a unique and special relationship that men can not say they have with us or each other... I mean, for goodness sake we go to the bathroom together!!
As I reflect, the thing I do know that clearly differentiates who I consider a true friend versus that "other bucket" is that my true girlfriends have never, ever crossed the line in the following...
True friends won't ever take advantage of you.
True friends won't exploit your weaknesses or emotional pits for their own gain or out of malicious intent (no matter how angry they are at you).
True friends will never date your ex-boyfriend.
True friends won't suck you dry emotionally, phsycially or monetarily.
I know these things sound absurd, but I can honestly say that all of these things have happened to me at some point in time.
True friendship is just the "right" amount of work, it never takes too much out of you. This means, sometimes we sacrafice for friends, but they always pay us back in love, loyalty and dedication. It's absolutely healthy to re-evaluate who is in your circle and who you need to cut back as well as who you need to appreciate more?
What are you going to do to evaluate your friendships?
What have you learned?
Comments
I think a true friend will always show you RESPECT even in the midst of a disagreement. They should never say anything to hurt you just because they are upset.
Also, you should not have to constantly prove or convince a true friend that you are their friend. They should know that by knowing your heart and your actions.